Friday, March 6, 2009
Existential Shit...
It felt solemn that I was alone. As the universe flew around me I was reminded that I am alone, that's how it began and that's how it ends. I am stricken yet not overwhelmed with this idea, I am alone...
It is not a sad realization, it is a validation. My dependence to everything seems to have melted away into all the emotions I have explored. My need to feel and be felt have been expressed in all the forms I thought physically imaginable. I have been what I have become, in many forms, with all the intricacies I could have embellished.
I sit still remembering all the anger and pain and how they burst out of me in all the possible ways I knew. I sit still remembering all the happiness, joy and ecstasy and how they pleased and gratified me. I sit still feeling satisfied and comforted by my state of being...alone.
How lucky I am! Because the universe worked with me, with all my atrocities, with all my hunger for pleasure and pain. How lucky I am that it all happened at a time when they were all suppose to happen. How lucky I am that in the explosion of all these things put together, I am still here alone... existing.
How lucky I am to be alone and yet feel the most overpowering feeling overpowering me, overpowering my understanding, overpowering my inability to express it in words, overpowering my limitation to call it in the most simple term... LOVE. How lucky I am to be born of it and to be able to boastfully identify myself with it. How lucky I am to claim it, yet it is not mine. How lucky I am to love.
I am love...
And I am alone...
We all are...
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